Calaban - the Gator troll warlock

I am convinced Calaban is a troll warlock. Not in this sense:

but in this sense:

He belongs to that elite group of models that looks really sweet on paper, but is as effective on the table as a hobo's cardboard box is waterproof. Other members of this family of model failures include Assault Kommandos, Garryth, Arkadius, most Cygnar infantry models, and Kriel Warriors (1). The worst thing about these smegheads is that no matter how many times they disappoint you with their in-game failures, you always come back to them eventually thinking that "maybe if I try X and Y or combo them is Z, they'll be awesome!"

Newsflash!: They don't work, and Privateer Press is trolling you.

On paper

 Calaban looks really solid on paper and in theorymachine. He has a really strong spell-lists which seems perfectly suited to dealing with Gator problems.

• Hex Blast - removes pesky defensive buffs or Crippling Grasps!
• Parasite - removes pesky armor!
• Carnivore - pretty good on a Posse or Swamp Horror.
• Occultation - keeps him, a unit or a beast alive longer... usually him.
• Bone Shaker - POW 12 nuke, can be nice when used against weapon masters.

That's a pretty stellar spell list if I do say so myself.

He also has respectable stats for a spell slinger. SPD 6 (woot!), DEF 14, ARM 16. Not bad at all. 15 boxes is a bit weak, but nevertheless.

His melee capabilities are a bit on the low side with a low MAT and P+S, but he has some nice abilities to make up for it - sustained attack on the bite, and Life Trader on his reach weapon. So he is able to put out decent damage against high DEF models and higher ARM models, if he needs to and you get lucky enough to hit once.

His Heart Stopper voodoo gun seems to be his shtick. ROF 2, RNG/POW 10 with a respectable RAT. When he boxes a living enemy with it, instead of removing the model, it stays in play until the end of the turn and becomes an arc node for him. Think of the amazing angles you can get with that!

His feat seems solid against infantry heavy armies, and triggers when a friendly model in your CTRL kills something, rather than when the enemy model dies in your CTRL. That seems like a crazy amount of fury to shred infantry with, right?

In addition, he has a pretty nice model. Here is mine, painted with the constrasting red/turquoise blue found on my Blindwater models:

In practice

In practice however, something just doesn't work. I have a few theories on why this is the case:

1) No legit arc node. This is a problem with a few Hordes spellslinger casters (especially Arkadius). As noted above, Calaban has a very solid spell list. The Voodoo gun seems decent but in practice screws you over in several ways.

• The arc node model is often facing the 'wrong' way. 
• It'll be engaged by an enemy model, and hence useless.
• The way the ability is designed is also not optional so basically you have an "friendly" model or two just sitting there blocking your charge lanes and such.

Having to move up to cast Parasite, Hex Blast or anything tool-boxy just makes those spells worth far less in Hordes than in Warmachine (2).

2) No real tricks. So he has good spells. But you pretty much see it all coming. The voodoo arc-node is the one potential trick in the bag along with his feat, but they both just kinda suck in practice. Barnabas has a great feat, Warpath, Counter Charge and the ability to control the field with Swamp Pits. Maelok has his feat and Revive to kill things from crazy angles. Calaban has his favourite sitcoms on Friday evenings, which he watches alone.

3) Highly predictable & reactive caster. This is the biggest one in my opinion. All the good casters in this game present your opponent with a threat or problem that they have to consider while playing the game, whether it's assassination/raw damage threat, models that are very difficult to remove, or unpredictable positioning/mobility. Here are a few examples:

• Caine2 presents you with nigh-infinite highly accurate magical hand cannon shots, huge threat range, and no KD Boomhowlers.
• Gaspy2 presents a hard-to-prevent brutal feat, long Excarnate threat ranges, great board control and a very survivable caster that can't be charged.
• Butcher1 presents you with extremely hard-hitting, high DEF infantry and a beast of a caster who can kill anything in the game himself.
• Barnabas presents you with the threat of mass KD, Warpath, some of the best shooting denial out there, rough terrain AoEs at will and a real tank of a caster.

Calaban doesn't really present any problems.
His spell list is all based around dealing with your problems (3) - but he doesn't actually do anything to make your opponent react to you. Even his feat feels reactive - it doesn't really do much on its own, but relies on your opponent's army composition and the effectiveness of the rest of your models far too much for it to be really good solid. The voodoo arc-node is more of a bad gimmick than an actual thing to watch out for.

Nobody is even remotely concerned playing against him like they are playing against actually good casters. And I think that's what lets him down more than anything else.

Tactica

Despite the above, I'm sure several of you guys and gals will want to play him. Here are some suggestions from my experiences:

1. Unlike Barnabas and Maelok, he doesn't really benefit much from a second Posse. I find more use out of putting another heavy beast or WE + Snapjaw in there instead.
2. I'm told the tier list is good. I've yet to play it since I don't want to buy a unit of pigmans just for one caster I don't like playing (not a big fan or proxies, it's a personal thing). ADing Wrong Eye + Snapjaw and a Spitter is pretty neat and could be considered a problem for your opponent. Extra range on spells doesn't hurt. And you don't really lose anything you'd want.
3. The arc node gun is more useful at helping you put buffs on your stuff than casting spells at your opponents. Quite useful on the feat turn especially.
4. The feat is best used by activating Calaban first, feating and spending all your fury on spells or melee attacks. Then you can fill him back up to a 'safe' level over the turn, spending any excess fury on Spiny Growths or Bone Shakers. Against an infantry heavy army, it can be quite potent, and cycling Parasite between medium/heavy can be pretty cool.

Conclusion

Comfort level:
Stick in the eye |-------X-------------------------------------| High-end La-Z-Boy

Calaban is really something you have to experience yourself. Like most other members of this fail family (we really need a name for these models), you will keep coming back to him every now and then, realizing how uncomfortable it is to play him, and then go back to playing a Gator caster  that actually works. Even writing this makes me want to go play him and think that maybe I'm just missing something vitally important, even though I know playing Calaban like shaving with a blunt razor - it might get the job done, but you'll come out wishing you hadn't shaved at all (combined with some nasty gashes that will scar you for life).




(1) There are more of these sad excuses for models of course, this is in no way a finite list.
(2) Unless of course your caster has some form of teleportation trick or viable arc nodes ie. Circle, Legion, or if your caster has a moving rock wall and a 13-foot tall guard dog wielding an entire tree as a weapon ie. Trolls.
(3) Occultation is of more of a solution (to getting shot) than a problem. Shadow Pack is a problem, Occultation is a solution.